Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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