smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
