Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
