I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So much rum. So many feels.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
