Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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