Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize