i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
