ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
