Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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