hotel room ftw
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
