And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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