Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize