I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
