Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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