My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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