On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
