Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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