Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
