you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
