He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
