just tell him i said nine months
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
