I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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