My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
