Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
