just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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