spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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