so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
