my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
