Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
