even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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