like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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