...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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