Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
