don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
