Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
