so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
