D3 body, D1 cock
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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