She's JV to your varsity
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
