when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
