he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
