I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
