I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
