dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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