I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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