Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
