I CAN MOONWALK!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize