i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
