if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
