dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize