i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
