from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
