I looked at my own cervix.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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