when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
