They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
