Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
