is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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