Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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